Death
by CatsbytheGreat
Summary: Each Pevensie saw death in a different way.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the Pevensies or Narnia. They belong to C.S. Lewis. Enjoy!**

* * *

Peter saw death as a necessary thing. If he didn't, he never would have been able to win as many wars in Narnia as he did. Being someone who planned and participated in many battles, Peter was very familiar with death. Yet, he did not take the time to think about it often because he knew if he did he would start questioning himself. And he couldn't afford to do that, especially not during a battle, when each decision was made in a split second and meant the difference between life and death.

Sometimes when he lay in bed the thought of death crept up on him uninvited. It was inevitable. He, like all his siblings, had several close calls with death. He never thought about it in those moments but couldn't help thinking about it afterwards. It wasn't that he disliked death, but that he wasn't sure if he and his siblings would see each other after. He hated to think they could be separated forever. He feared for them more than he feared for himself.

Peter had been told once that when one dies, one goes to Aslan's country. The question "What if…we don't?" always lingered in the back of his mind and he thought he might accept death easier if he knew for certain that they would all get there and be united in the end. In Aslan's country.

Years later, standing on a platform of a train station, Peter notices a train coming around the bend. The train carries almost everyone that matters to him: Eustace, Jill, Polly, Professor Kirke, Lucy, and his parents. Edmund stands next to him. The only one missing is Susan…

Peter thinks that if he died at this moment he might not be so afraid of separation—in fact, he feels certain that he can be united with everyone after death. After all, everyone is in the same place, and surely that means everyone can end up There as well. _And Susan_, he thinks, _won't be left behind_. He realizes for the first time that Aslan would not do something like that. He hopes she realizes it as well.

Then Peter stops thinking about it. _What are the chances of dying today, now?_ he thinks.

Then Edmund says, "That train is coming too fast."

Peter notices this as well and feels, in the split second between realizing the train is indeed coming too fast and the bang that throws him off his feet shortly after, that he is ready now more than ever. He finally has figured out what he needed to know.

Upon impact Peter doesn't feel hurt or anything like that. Instead, he smiles.

* * *

Susan hated the unknown and it was part of the reason why she was so afraid when she came to Narnia. When her siblings' lives became endangered on their various missions she realized that death itself was an unknown. What lay on the other side of life? This made her even more afraid. The biggest unknown of all was a very real possibility all the time in Narnia.

This had a significant part in Susan's becoming "the Gentle." She was a great diplomat and often managed to get two parties to peacefully negotiate and she prevented many wars in this fashion. However, there were times when even her hardest efforts did not succeed and she was left watching her brothers and even Lucy (on occasion) ride off to war, unsure of whether they would come back. She hated that feeling of uncertainty more than anything. The idea of Aslan's country never seemed to make it better because after all, no one actually _knew_. They only believed.

Now Susan sobs as she stands in her and Lucy's old room. She knows, deep down, that her siblings and family and friends are safe. She just can't bring herself to believe it. She cries for fear because she doesn't know anything anymore. She doesn't know where her family is or whether she'll ever meet them again. All she knows is that they are _gone_.

For the first time in years, Susan wants Aslan to come and comfort her. She wants Narnia. She wants to be in Aslan's country. More than anything, she wants to _believe_.

* * *

Edmund was the type of person who could sit and think for hours and never get bored of it. He thought of a lot and, not long after entering Narnia, he began to think about death. He, like Peter, did not want his siblings to die because like Peter, he did not want to be separated. He hated battles and had a tougher time than Peter seeing death as a necessary thing…but he saw it regardless.

For himself, Edmund did not fear death. He knew they would get to Aslan's country and they would be safe there…and Aslan would be with them. It wasn't that he had been there or known anybody who came back, but he just believed. He couldn't help it. After all, last time he _didn't _believe terrible things happened.

The idea of Aslan's country sounded wonderful, spending forever with Aslan, but he wasn't sure he deserved it. He wanted to so badly, but he knew nothing he ever did could measure up to what Aslan had sacrificed for him. Aslan later told him that he was correct in this, but it was only because he was human, and that he should live spreading the same love Aslan had given him. Edmund did so. He nearly died several times for any number of things: for his siblings, for Narnia, and in the name of Aslan—sometimes for all three at once. He became a just and fair ruler and made sure that evil was stamped out of Narnia for good. He had come to deserve his title as King of Narnia, and later as King Edmund the Just.

Still, as they sailed to Aslan's country years later, Edmund realized he wasn't ready. There was still that uncertainty that he shouldn't deserve to go to such a wonderful place, especially when Peter and Susan, whom he had always felt were far more deserving than himself, wouldn't get to go. It caused him to feel afraid in a way that someone is when forced to meet a new person when they really don't want to, or else are terribly shy. Even though he was upset when told that he and Lucy couldn't come back to Narnia and would not be making the journey to world's end, he also couldn't help feel a bit relieved that his trip to Aslan's country had been postponed.

As he watches the train come in and notices it is coming too fast (and tells Peter so), Edmund thinks back to when Caspian had saved Narnia: Aslan had told him that if he had felt sufficient to be King, it would be proof that he was not.

It hits Edmund, who has never felt sufficient to stay with Aslan in His country: he doesn't have to feel sufficient to get to Aslan's country. He only needs to love and follow Aslan's example best he can, and to completely trust in the Lion. Edmund observes that although he trusted in Aslan, he had never been able _completely_ trust Him when it came to that one area; death. Despite everything, he still had his doubts…until now.

As something hits him and everything goes dark Edmund still doesn't feel ready, but he does not feel scared. He has complete trust in Aslan now, and that makes all the difference.

* * *

Lucy always trusted Aslan completely in every aspect. She felt it easy to trust, which Edmund warned might be her downfall, and hardly ever doubted those she looked up to. Peter was almost infallible in her eyes. Eventually she realized he was human, but Aslan wasn't and He never let her down. Yet she wasn't ready for Aslan's country when the Dawn _Treader_ sailed near there. And Aslan knew it.

Lucy never thought about death when she didn't need to. She did in battle, of course, but being the keeper of the cordial, she brought people back from the brink of death rather than let it happen. When it did happen, she felt like she had herself to blame. She should have gotten them the cordial in time, she should have checked the wound more carefully, and on and on.

Lucy didn't like to think about death and pushed it out of her mind. She tried to be brave when faced with it, but the whole idea of someone never living again scared her. She didn't know what she would do without her cordial and the thought of not having it made her feel powerless. She wasn't ready to die, and she wasn't ready to watch her siblings die.

Even when she heard of Aslan's country she still feared death. She trusted that Aslan would keep them safe but it scared her regardless. The pain and suffering one might endure before death…the sadness of being separated…Lucy hated to see anyone else in pain or upset and death brought about both things. She didn't know what to do in those situations except reach for her cordial…and she would not always have her cordial… All of this terrified her.

As Lucy sits in a compartment on a train with her friends she thinks about how she will meet Peter and Edmund and soon after that Jill and Eustace will have a Narnian adventure. She thinks that it will not be safe—it almost never is safe—and they won't have her cordial. Yet today, for some reason, she accepts it. Yes, they might die, but she has grown up again and the second time around she knows how to better handle pain and sadness. She knows Aslan will keep them all safe in life and beyond.

The train gives a terrible jerk and Lucy is plunged into darkness. Yet she does not shy away or reach for a cordial that is not there. She faces the darkness head on, knowing that with Aslan's help she can face whatever is on the other side.


End file.
